Why Our Children Are Drifting Away From Us? The Painful Truth Every Modern Parent Must Hear

Why Our Children Are Drifting Away From Us? The Painful Truth Every Modern Parent Must Hear

Have you ever heard a parent say, "My child does not listen to me," "My child is rude," or "My child loves outsiders more than us"? This is a common complaint in almost every home today. But have we ever thought about why this happens?

A child is not born distant. A child is not born rude. We, the parents, make him that way with our own hands, without even realizing it.

1. The Childhood When They Needed You the Most

When a child is two, three, four, or seven years old, he needs only one thing: your time. He does not need expensive toys, a big house, or costly clothes. He needs his mother to sit with him and listen to his small, broken stories, and his father to play with him for just ten minutes.

But what happens in today's modern homes?

The mother is busy with her mobile phone, watching dramas, scrolling through Instagram, and talking on WhatsApp. The father is busy with his job, his friends, or also on his mobile phone. When the small child comes and says, "Mama, look what I have made," the mother says, "Not now, I am busy. Go and watch cartoons on your mobile."

When the child says, "Baba, please play with me," the father says, "Go away, I am tired."At that moment, the child feels rejected. His little heart feels, "I am not important." He goes to a corner, picks up a mobile phone, and starts talking to cartoons. He starts finding comfort in outsiders because his own parents have no time for him.

2. The Attachment That Shifts Outside

A child naturally becomes attached to the person who gives him time. If you do not give him time, he will become attached to someone else. It could be a maid, a grandmother, a neighbor, a friend, or worst of all, a stranger on the internet and social media.

Slowly, he starts sharing his secrets with his friends, not with you. He starts loving his mobile phone more than his family. He starts feeling more comfortable outside the home than inside his own home.

And this is not his fault. This is our fault.

We gave him a mobile phone to keep him quiet, but that mobile phone took our child away from us. We thought we were buying peace for one hour, but we were actually creating a distance for a lifetime.

3. The Teenage Shock - When Parents Start Complaining

Then comes the teenage years, thirteen, fourteen, and fifteen. Now the child is grown up. Now he has his own world. Now he talks back. Now he says "No." Now he prefers his friends over his family. Now he does not share anything with his parents.

And then the parents start crying and complaining, "Our child has become disobedient. He does not listen to us. He loves outsiders more than us."

But my dear parents, where were you when he was five years old and wanted to show you his drawing? Where were you when he was seven and wanted you to attend his school function? Where were you when he was nine and was being bullied at school and needed someone to listen to him?

You were busy. And now, he is busy. This is a simple rule of life. As you sow, so shall you reap. If you sow distance in his childhood, you will reap distance in his teenage years.

4. What Islam Teaches Us About Giving Time to Children

In Islam, children are considered a gift and a trust (Amanat) from Allah. The Prophet Muhammad, Peace Be Upon Him, loved children so much. He used to play with them, carry them on his shoulders, listen to them, and kiss them. Even during prayer, if his grandson Hussain (R.A) climbed on his back, he would not become angry; he would prolong his Sajda.

This shows that giving time to children is not a waste of time; it is an act of worship (Ibadat). Your child is not a disturbance in your busy life. Your child is your life.

Allah will not ask you on the Day of Judgment how many likes you received on your photo, but He will certainly ask you whether you gave proper time and good upbringing (Tarbiyat) to the gift He gave you.

5. How to Bring Your Child Back - Before It Is Too Late

It is never too late, but you must start today.

First, fix thirty minutes of no-mobile time every day. This time should be only for your child. No phone, no television. Just you and your child. Ask him, "How was your day?" Listen to him, even if his story is boring. Hug him.

Second, stop giving a mobile phone as a solution. If your child is crying or bored, do not give him a mobile phone. Give him a book, give him colors, sit and play with him. A bored child who plays with his mother becomes creative. A bored child who gets a mobile phone becomes addicted.

Third, say "I love you" every day. Pakistani parents often feel shy saying this, but your child needs to hear it. Say, "I am proud of you." Say, "May Allah bless you, my child."

Fourth, eat at least one meal together as a family, without any mobile phones on the table. This one habit can save your family relationship.

Final Message

Dear parents of Chiniot and everywhere, please remember: Money can buy expensive toys, but it cannot buy your child's love. Big houses can provide comfort, but they cannot provide attachment.

If you want your child to stand by you when you grow old, you must stand by him when he is young.

If you give him time today, he will give you respect tomorrow. If you ignore him today, he will ignore you tomorrow. The choice is yours.

May Allah make all our children the coolness of our eyes and make us good parents for them. Ameen.

Question For You:

I have one question for all the parents reading this article. Do you give more time to your mobile phone or to your child? Be honest. Please share your answer in the comments below, because your answer might help another parent

Written By: Kinza Aslam

Founder: Kinzay Writer From Chiniot

Blog: kinzaych826stories.blogspot.com